Echo RIP.
We just got home from saying goodbye to the most evil-minded, spitefull and psychopathic bitches it has ever been my pleasure to meet. A character to the very end, on her last day she managed to piss on my leg, bite Robin and eat cow poop.
Echo, your presense in our lives was worth every second of the havoc you caused and every penny of the inestimable damage that you inflicted on us and our belongings. I very much doubt that I will ever meet a dog like you again, but if I do, rest assured that having been taught by the best there ever was, I will run like hell!
Redesign time
Sorry for any ugliness that might be forced upon you, my lone reader. It is time to ditch this layout and do something different. In the meantime all the content will still be here for you education and puzzlement! As soon as I post this I will be deleting all the stylesheets for the whole site. w00t!
Pizza dough recipe
Over the years I have tried dozens of recipes for pizza dough and although some were good, none ever made me shout “fucking hell!”, none until I found this one. This is the shit right here! If you are going to try it you will need a baking/pizza stone and a peel. You could manage without the peel by getting ingenius with some parchment paper but the stone is a must. You also have to start making it the day before you plan to eat.
This makes 4 12” pizzas.
Ingedients:
4 1/2 cups all purpose flour or bread flour but why pay double? (575g)
1 3/4 teaspoons salt (12.5g)
1 teaspoon instant yeast (3g)
1/4 cup olive oil (60ml)
1 3/4 cups ice cold water (414ml)
Semolina flour or cornmeal for dusting the peel to stop the pizza from sticking to it.
1. Mix the first five ingredients together. It will give you a sticky and squishy dough. Knead it for 5 minutes. Split it in to 4 equal lumps. Spray the insides of 4 plastic storage bags with some olive oil, if you can’t spray then just put a splash in each and swoosh it around some. Put a lump of dough in each bag and tie off the top. Put them in the fridge for at least over night but up to 3 days. If you are not going to need all 4, you can stick however many in the freezer until 24 hours before you need them, at which point you can move them to the fridge.
Preheat your oven to 550°f (pretty much as hot as your oven goes!) for at least half an hour with your stone at or close to the bottom.
Put a good sprinkle of cornmeal or semolina flour on your peel. Take out your dough and shape it by hand . If you fuck it up just roll it up and have another go! I find it helps to dust my hands with some flour for this
Put your pizza base on the peel and give the top a light spray or brush of olive oil. Put your sauce, cheese and toppings on top.
Slide it off the peel on to the stone and it should be in done in roughly 8 minutes but keep an eye on it.
Take it out and let it cool for a few minutes on a rack before you cut and eat.
Lastly, send or buy be large ammounts of beer in gratitude!
Cuban Bread Recipe (two loaves)
5-6 cups bread or all-purpose flour
2 packages dry yeast (4.5 Teaspoons)
1 tablespoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
2 cups hot water (125F)
Sesame, poppy seeds or whatever takes your fancy (optional but do not use flax seed, we tried and they suck!)
Place 4 cups flour in a large bowl, add yeast salt, & sugar.
Stir until well blended. Pour in water, beat 100 strokes, or
3 min with mixers flat beater.
Gradually work in remaining flour 1/2 cup at a time, until dough
loses stickiness.
Sprinkle work surface with flour. Work in flour as you knead,
keep dusting work surface. Knead for 8 min, until dough is smooth
and elastic.
Put dough in greased, covered bowl until doubled in size. Depending on the ambient temp this could be as little as 15 minutes or as long as an hour or more!
Punch dough down, turn onto work surface, cut in 2. Shape each
into round, roll it in chosen seeds or whatever and place on baking sheet covered with a sheet of parchment paper
Place baking sheet in middle of cold oven. Put a pan of hot water
in the shelf below. Turn oven to 400F and bake until loaves are deep golden
brown, roughly 45-50 minutes should do it. Thump the bottom- if they sound hollow, they are done.
This bread doesn’t stay fresh for long, but it usually gets devoured so
fast that it doesn’t matter; freezes well. We have had good luck
varying the flour, although you may have to increase the rise time.
We have often added garlic and various other herbs/spices to the dough with great results.
Make your own Irish Cream (Baileys)
This is for Robin, I don’t like the shit!
- 1 Cup light cream (or heavy whipping cream, which makes it richer).
- 14 oz sweetened condensed milk.
- 1 2/3 Cups Irish whiskey.
- 1 Teaspoon instant coffee.
- 2 Tablespoons chocolate syrup.
- 1 Teaspoon vanilla.
- 1 Teaspoon almond extract (optional)
1. Combine all ingredients well in a blender.
2. Bottle and refrigerate. Shake before using.
3. Keeps for 2 months.